I bought a gerbil at walmart after the walmart salesperson told me there was a 90 day return policy if anything happened to the gerbil. I asked him if I could stick the gerbil up my rectum.
He said that would be fine and that is the reason a lot of people buy gerbils. The first time I sent sent the furry little creature up my butt he suffocated and died. I took him to customer service the following morning. The customer service lady told me the gerbil was covered in too much *** to be returned.
She said I would have to wash the furry little guy off first.
I took him to the bathroom to wash him off. They still did not return him.
Monetary Loss: $4.