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My teenage daughter recently went to Walmart with 3 other friends. Two of the friends were caught shoplifting and Walmart prosecuted all four juveniles.

They were all taken to the police station and all the merchandise was recovered. Meanwhile, Walmart refused to let me watch the video, said my daughter was guilty and sent me two hateful letters demanding that my underage daughter pay $250. The prosecutor that is handling this case said to not pay the $250 and she would call Walmart.

I am pissed that Walmart is not even acknowledging the fact that perhaps my daughter is innocent and even though all merchandise was returned they are demanding $250. I am now shopping at Kmart and am much happier and finding that I am saving money...

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Anonymous
Holmestrand, Vestfold, Norway #219904

No it was not her that came up with an idea, your daughter and all her friends are ganging up against her and saying it was her idea. Also I sided with you when we were at the police station.

I told them that your daughter should not be arrested since she was on look out.

Why turn against me when I tried to protect your daughter. Even if it were her idea they made the decision to steal as well.

Anonymous
Holmestrand, Vestfold, Norway #219625

You daughter was the one that came up with the idea. I think you need a talk with her.

Anonymous
Akita-Shi, Akita, Japan #214728

I am glad your daughter confessed and hope she makes a full confession and writes a letter of apology to the store. IMHO you should write a letter of appology too for the bashing of walmart you did on this post before you knew the facts.

That said you daughter is as much responsible as the other kids even though she was pressured. As others have pointed out being pressured does not make you innocent.

I hope you decide on a punishment fitting for the offense.

We have kids in our town doing things like stealing things off of people's porches and driveways and some are suspected of breaking and entering. Shoplifting often is the first step to other forms or theft or vandalism.

The first time a child is caught, the judge will IMO be lenient with the child and then if the bad behavior continues the child can be taken away and put either in foster care or in a juvenile detention center. Don't let that happen to your child.

Do not encourage wrongdoing by condoling it.

Anonymous
Holmestrand, Vestfold, Norway #214631

Yahoo is correct. Not only does your letter indicate that you never saw the video of her shoplifting, your first replie also shows this.

You sound like you were never shown the tape in the first place. There were times when Kevin tried to get me to shoplift and I walked away because if he got caught I did not want to get in trouble.(Yahoo's son who was also caught was with him.) I visit this site often, and Cathy(a mother of another friend) wanted you to see a child's view of this. She did not tell me what to type. From what I am saying your daughter allowed her friends to make the decision for her and made it herself consciously.

I am two years younger than your daugher(12). Your daughter is guilty and should be charged if her friends are getting charged because they should all be treated equal.

So what if you need to be legally 21 to drink and 16 to drive.

Shoplifting is also illegal so what makes you think she won't go to a party where drinks are served? Some of her friends could get fake ID or pay more for beer from an adult wanting to make a profit by selling it to minors as they have in my neighborhood so even at 14 she could get drunk and get in a car which one of her friends her age or older stole.

Anonymous
Holmestrand, Vestfold, Norway #214625

Now you result to lying. How is your daughter going to know the difference between right and wrong if her mother does wrong?

One the letter you purposely made us believe that they did not show the security tape. How is your daughter to learn what's right and what's wrong if you are going to set bad examples. If you are lying about this are you also lying out of $250. Is this a way to scam Wal-mart?

Well if so your daugher is learning from you. Your daughter is 14 years old old enough to know she did wrong. However she knows how to trick you into believing she is innocent.

Also unless they got your permission, or they were showing a threat to other customers they would not have been taken to the police station. Sorry don't buy your story.

Anonymous
#214474

Well, I now see a couple of problems with your logic. First off, you have no evidence that they are lying about having the video of the girls talking about the shoplifting.

They might not have had cameras everywhere, and even if they did, the conversation might have taken place outside of the store. Just saying...

Anonymous
Holmestrand, Vestfold, Norway #214414

Actually the did show the security video of her stealing, however I wanted to prove that it was not her fault that she was pressured into stealing from her friends, and that part they did not show, or rather lied and said they did not catch the conversation. They also lied and said they were suspicious of the girls that no conversation exicted and that my daughter is just as guilty.

She would have never done anything wrong if she were not under pressure to do so. My daughter is 14 so she is too young to drive also the law says that you can't drink until you are 21 years old so I don't have to worry about that for seven years.

Anonymous
Holmestrand, Vestfold, Norway #214223

Scott, she is a teenager, teenagers do dumb stuff all the time due to peer pressure, while I do agree that the mother needs her daughter to see that it was her fault I do realise that teenagers do dumb things. She is not (whatever you called her).

She is just learning. However if the mother keeps allowing her to put the blame on others she will never learn. Just this Halloween my son and a few friends were picked up by the police for throwing eggs and toilet paper at houses. He blamed his friends, but I told him he could have walked away and he is also at fault.

I punished him by telling him that this is his last trick or treating ever. He's 11 going on 12 December 1st, and I told him no going with his friends for a month and no birthday party.

Lately he has been getting in trouble with those friends so He can't see them. Perhaps this mother needs to do the same thing, ban her from being with those friends?

Anonymous
Holmestrand, Vestfold, Norway #214222

First of all after having he same problem when my son was shoplifting from Wal-mart I don't buy this story. They do show the security video, and there is no $250 fee.

Second as Cathy said. Does not matter if your daughter stole because she was told to. If she is a teenager she surely knows that's right and what's wrong. Yes when my son was arrested I did not believe them at first, however his story changed.

First he claimed he bought the item. He did not have a receipt, he claimed a friend gave it to him. (they were Pokemon cards BTW.) Well the security found the exact same wrapper of the Pokemon cards which his friend supposedly gave him in the washroom he was just in and he had the exact same cards in his pockets. At this time I knew he was lying so I told him we would call his friend to straighten it out and he claimed his friend was eating out.

Anyways what I am trying to say is, and what Cathy is saying is your daughter is to blame for her part in the theft. As much as we want to believe your children are innocent and would not do such a thing we have to fact the facts and discipline our children accordinally. I chose to have my son write an apology to the manager and ban him from going to either a scout camping trip or school camping trip don't remember which.

Hopefully you did discipline your daughter for this. =

Anonymous
#214074

Written by Maryk928, on 21-11-2010 01:26

However this was not my daughter's fault. She said her friends pressured her into shoplifting and that they did it first and she did not want to be the only one that did not do it.

Your daughter sounds ***.

Anonymous
Holmestrand, Vestfold, Norway #214048

First of all I am a parent myself, and I can understand how you want your child to be innocent, and how you don't want to believe that your child can do any wrong. However as a mother of a ten year old and a five year old here is some advice.

Instead of making excuses for your daughter start by telling her that she was wrong.If all her friends decided to use drugs would it be all right because they are pressuring her to? Maybe you should pay the $250 and make her pay it off to teach her a lesson. It does not matter if her friends tell her to shoplift or if they were doing the same. It does not matter that her friends were the first ones to shoplift, she should have simply said no, I was taught better and walked away.

If they don't respect her for wanting to do the right thing than are they really good friends in the first place? It does not matter that the merchandise was returned. Your daughter still stole the items. I don't know what the $250 fee is for, to pay the police officer, to pay the undercover security guard ect.

The point is you should be glad that they are not having her sent to jail to think about their actions. IMO they should have made her spend a night in juvenile hall for a few days to show her what her future is like if she continues to shoplift.

Many kids are getting away with stuff because of parents blaming others when you really need to have a talk with your daughter about doing what's right. Also if she goes to a party and gets drunk and drives home, or gets in a car with someone who has been drinking because everyone else is doing it or because her friends pressured her to do so that may be the last thing she ever does.

Anonymous
Holmestrand, Vestfold, Norway #213884

However this was not my daughter's fault. She said her friends pressured her into shoplifting and that they did it first and she did not want to be the only one that did not do it.

Anonymous
Holmestrand, Vestfold, Norway #213883

Actually when my daughter found out that I was having the proscuter handling the case and that I would get to review the tape, she admitted that she too was shoplifting. However he said that he could get the $250 fee lifted if she makes a full confession and writes a letter of apology to the store.

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